Elephants Are Not Just in Africa

by Susan Demel

A coworker asked, “How are you?” as he passed me in the hall. Like many people do, I responded very quickly with, ‘Fine’. Then an unusual thing happened, he turned around and marched over to me emphatically stating, “That was a pat answer.” (pat adj.- Trite or glib; superficially complete or satisfactory)

After I dusted myself off, I reflected and gave a genuine response. “Today is a bad day,” I said. I was relieved. It didn’t alter the circumstances, but it changed something in my mind and heart to be open about it.

Imagine for a moment that you are walking out of your office or down the street. Someone you know greets you and asks, ‘How are you? How are things in missions these days?” What would you say? As you imagine your response, consider the feelings that arise and the thoughts that emerge. Would you be honest about the likely scenarios playing out in your setting, or would you give a pat answer? “Fine, thanks. Everything’s great.”

It’s likely that some of us have meetings where uninvited elephants have taken residence at the table. Elephants are not only in Africa; they live with us -- topics and issues that go unspoken and unaddressed.

It’s likely that some of us have inherited strong personalities’on teams or boards who have been with the church since the early days -- folks you can’t move and must, instead, mow around.

It’s likely that some of us have too many things that need tweaking. When we get traction in one area, we lose ground in many others. It feels like a constant dance with two steps forward and three steps back.
It’s likely that some of us transfer the complexities of leading and facilitating missional efforts into twisted evidence of our imagined incompetence.

It’s likely that some of us rely more on our minds and our meetings then our great big God. Do we trust more in our abilities, or do we believe and act in alignment with Proverbs 3:5-6? “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.”

It’s likely that some of us have allowed busyness to depersonalize the work we are doing. We have let it get in the way of our own active expression of compassionate missional involvement.

Why don’t we reveal reality? Why don’t we just say, “Today is a bad day,” or “This is a particularly hard and draining season we’re in”? We don’t have to give a poetic psalm in the moment, but we have the opportunity to give a vulnerable response, even if all we can muster is a grunt.

Are we concerned about our image if we admit difficulty, afraid for the security of our position or of the feelings of inadequacy that may come flooding over us? Let’s be optimistic, thankful and grateful in the great and promising moments and in the hard times as well. But let us not pretend that all is perfect and well. If we do, we may miss a unique opportunity to be real with one another, and we may forfeit a chance to be transformed by God, who is brilliant at meeting us in our honest, vulnerable, messy moments.